Navigating a Break Up

There is no real rule book when it comes to navigating a break up, but one thing is for certain — you need to cut off all communication with your ex.

I know I know, you want to keep the text messages as proof for who said what and because you aren’t ready to let go of all the conversations you had together. The same goes for the photos in your phone with your ex. Good-bye, delete.

This may come across as harsh and I’m sorry. I remember when someone first told me I needed to delete everything that reminded me of my ex and I pitched a fit and said I wasn’t ready to, yet. But that led me to stalking his social media, crying every time I scrolled past a photo of us, and calling non stop until he would pick up the phone. I was THAT girl, but I could not figure out how to get peace of mind after a break up. This is the place a lot of people find themselves in in the days after a breakup.

Maybe you are regretting breaking up or maybe you were the dumper, but one thing for certain, the two of you need space to process!

So if I can say anything about how to navigate a break up, it is to not pitch a fit like me and go ahead and save yourself by doing these steps.

  1. Unfollow / Block on Social Media
  2. Delete / Block His Phone Number
  3. Delete Photos That Make You Sad 

When you first begin the process of letting go after a break up, the thing you miss first is the company of talking to them. Since you aren’t able to ask them what the are doing or how they have been, you turn to social media which can tell you so much about a person, depending on how active their account is. The problem with social media is that it is a highlight reel. Your ex knows you are watching their stories and stalking their posts, so they are only going to post the things that make them seem fine. It hurt seeing those posts of them living their life without you and not to mention, the moment they post a photo of them with someone else, the flood of heartbreak comes rushing back. So if you are truly looking at how to get peace of mind after a break up, then take a break from following them.

Same goes for keeping their phone number accessible! In the moments where your grief is crashing hard into you like a wave, it’s hard to have the self-control to not pick up the phone and call/text them. This was a routine that you most likely did every day for a period of time, so this is a really tough habit to break. Print out a monthly calendar and give yourself a gold star sticker or simply a check mark for every day that you successfully don’t have contact with this person. You can make profound changes in your life after 30 days of doing something! Join the supportive tribe of Fueling Her Further on Facebook to connect with other women going through a heartbreak and get accountability as your Detox Your Ex! 

My tip for #3 is make an album in your phone and move all the photos of the two of you into that album. That way every time you scroll through your phone photos, you won’t pass a photo of your ex and start crying in public. Take it from someone who knows!

I get that this person was most likely your best friend and it feels like you have lost a limb now, right? Heartbreak is just that, your heart breaking and the loss of losing your person is real and strong. You know that already though! Nobody is here to minimize the pain you are going through, but to stop you from putting yourself through more pain and possibly regretting something later on.

A book I read through my break up was “Why Men Love B*tches” by Sherry Argov and that title should speak for itself. Men do not like women who don’t have respect for themselves. They don’t like when a women will drop everything, including all their friends for him. They want you to have your own friends and life, just as you want your man to have their own interests and passions! The moral of this is that when you are in the early stages of a break up, find the willpower to be strong and not chase this man. You most likely will chase his even further away.

Navigating a break up is all about learning how to let go at your own pace and find love for yourself again. The sooner you realize that it’s called a break up because it’s broken, the sooner you will get your life back on track and find peace with yourself after the breakup. When you begin to let go by following these action tips above, you are reclaiming your power each and every day!

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